will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize