So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize