I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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