I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
