and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
