D3 body, D1 cock
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just made out with a guy for $7.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
