Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
