I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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