I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
