I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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