who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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