so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Text me some of your sweat
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
