idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
