I should be sponsored by Trojan
smell my finger.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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