I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
