Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
