I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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