I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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