? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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