i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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