Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
