Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
