just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
