I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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