No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
