Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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