What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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