is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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