would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
