Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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