She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
