I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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