I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
