I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
