the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize