You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
