peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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