...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
