Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
