when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
BRING THE BAGELS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
