In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize