i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
