batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize