In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
