From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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