If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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