apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
