I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
