wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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I believe in your delicious
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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