I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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