Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
