I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
