Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize