found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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