who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
