I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize