Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize