everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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