Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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