I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
