My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
