Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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