bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
