I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
