you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
