maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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